Monday, September 12, 2005
70 - 100
70. Of all British mammals bats are the brilliantest.
71. Of all suspicious junk muck you can stuff into a Kong to keep a dog amused for ten minutes, Webbox chubs - like a big processed sausage thing - are the disgustingest.
72. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha hahahahaahaahaaa.
73. Hem.
74. No but he's an arse and he had it coming.
75. Mmmmm. Pie.
76. It's great when people protest by means of pie. It's such a classic gesture, and it demonstrates quite clearly that you are not a lunatic and you do not wish anyone any real harm. It's not like red paint. Or manure.
77. Although Kilroy was totally overdue for that.
78. What are those people called who protest the Turner Prize every year. Mealy-mouthed little whingers. They miss the point utterly. Utterly utterly. Whoops, there went the point, faster than the speed o'sound, nnnneeeeeeoooowwwwwwwwwm, right past. It doesn't matter that Turner painted proper pictures, proper pictures that look awfully nice to us now - he was just as controversial in his era as the modern artists are in this one. Hence, it's named after him. Hence, no one gets it.
79. But most of the time no one gets anything.
80. Almost makes you wonder why anyone bothers.
81. About anything.
82. Ever.
83. Oh well.
84. Oh look.
85. More lovely Barratt housing, then.
86. The new Kanye West album is pretty good, sounds a lot like the mellower bits of 'The Black Album'. Except for 'Gold Digger' which is the greatest tune to ever be frustratingly too short on an album and to have to be bleeped on radio.
87. The Grauniad has gone 'Berliner' - not quite tab-sized but smaller than broadsheet.
88. It cost £80 million to do it.
89. What could you buy for that?
90. It is always, always surprising when the seasons start to change.
91. It is never ever surprising when Bush says something unbelievably crass and devoid of any shred of understanding.
92. Although it should be. Then there might be some outrage from other quarters than the usual.
93. Belfast has gone nuts. For fucksakes.
94. There is too much about which to be sad.
95. And loads more about which to be entirely indifferent.
96. By way of anasthetic.
97. It's the anniversary of Anthony Perkins' death today.
98. General anasthetic is like your head filling up with green water.
99. It's not unpleasant.
100. Oh dear, look.
101. Now what?
Another picture, I think. Or two.
71. Of all suspicious junk muck you can stuff into a Kong to keep a dog amused for ten minutes, Webbox chubs - like a big processed sausage thing - are the disgustingest.
72. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha hahahahaahaahaaa.
73. Hem.
74. No but he's an arse and he had it coming.
75. Mmmmm. Pie.
76. It's great when people protest by means of pie. It's such a classic gesture, and it demonstrates quite clearly that you are not a lunatic and you do not wish anyone any real harm. It's not like red paint. Or manure.
77. Although Kilroy was totally overdue for that.
78. What are those people called who protest the Turner Prize every year. Mealy-mouthed little whingers. They miss the point utterly. Utterly utterly. Whoops, there went the point, faster than the speed o'sound, nnnneeeeeeoooowwwwwwwwwm, right past. It doesn't matter that Turner painted proper pictures, proper pictures that look awfully nice to us now - he was just as controversial in his era as the modern artists are in this one. Hence, it's named after him. Hence, no one gets it.
79. But most of the time no one gets anything.
80. Almost makes you wonder why anyone bothers.
81. About anything.
82. Ever.
83. Oh well.
84. Oh look.
85. More lovely Barratt housing, then.
86. The new Kanye West album is pretty good, sounds a lot like the mellower bits of 'The Black Album'. Except for 'Gold Digger' which is the greatest tune to ever be frustratingly too short on an album and to have to be bleeped on radio.
87. The Grauniad has gone 'Berliner' - not quite tab-sized but smaller than broadsheet.
88. It cost £80 million to do it.
89. What could you buy for that?
90. It is always, always surprising when the seasons start to change.
91. It is never ever surprising when Bush says something unbelievably crass and devoid of any shred of understanding.
92. Although it should be. Then there might be some outrage from other quarters than the usual.
93. Belfast has gone nuts. For fucksakes.
94. There is too much about which to be sad.
95. And loads more about which to be entirely indifferent.
96. By way of anasthetic.
97. It's the anniversary of Anthony Perkins' death today.
98. General anasthetic is like your head filling up with green water.
99. It's not unpleasant.
100. Oh dear, look.
101. Now what?
Another picture, I think. Or two.
