Thursday, September 08, 2005
100 Things Not About Me (1-22)
Bien.
(I shall welcome contributions, by the way, not because I'll be short of ideas but because It'll Be Nice. Ah those fatal words.)
1. What's not to like about the Kaiser Chiefs?
2. Patty Hearst had this great t-shirt that said 'PARDON ME'.
4. Channel 4 showed the Streetcar episode of The Simpsons tonight (complete with 'defamation' of New Orleans) because they are not especially bright like that. As offensiveness goes it's probably on a par with asking the friend of a large lady when the baby's due out of large lady's earshot, but still.
3. Blogger is planning some kind of a community spam-sweep soon - click on next blog (not here, you can't, there's a thing in the way) until you find a blog that is not about angst or drugs or life but rather curiously filled with linkslinkslinks to thingsthingsthings, and flag the motherfucker. Repeat till eyes fall out. A good idea.
4. No one seems to be able to agree on whether or not bumblebees sting.
5. Perhaps they can't tell a bumblebee from a honeybee to start with, and should not be allowed to go out without supervision.
6. This isn't cheating.
7. Nor is this.
8. This is, though.
9. The Onion is still funny but Private Eye is definitely flagging.
10. Organic fair trade hot chocolate is more expensive but worth it, since it actually tastes of chocolate and sends you wafting gently into peaceful, righteous slumber unblighted by dreams where you wake up several times convinced giant crawly things are crawling on the pillow. And Spar sells it. Which is bizarre given Spar's laughable disregard for anything approaching nice food.
11. The old butcher whose shop is next to the Spar has died of a 'brain bleed or something', according to big ole northern busybody in said Spar.
12. This is sad.
13. But was inevitable.
14. This is a bit like playing the yes-no game.
15. The yes-no game is very hard and pointless. ('The book of love is long and boring/no one can lift the damn thing', etc.)
16. Any pointings-out of glaring and ironic errors already made would be a great thing. In fact, the imposition of new rules might be fun.
17. Science has still not been able to pinpoint precisely why we need sleep.
18. But we do - the effects of not sleeping are, well, death and more death, ultimately.
19. That shit's worse than crack.
20. And ketamine. Which is all over the news this week as the newest most scariest deadly drug, but this is five years old. Ahhh, look at cutey little Conor McNicholas who now oversees publication of that crappy music mag. Il est un goof.
21. 'Ketamine' is a lovely word, isn't it? It's like a girl's name. "Ketamine, darling, would you mind popping to Waitrose for a butternut squash and some Aqua Libra?"
22. David Duchovny's son is called Kyd. Poor fucker.
(I shall welcome contributions, by the way, not because I'll be short of ideas but because It'll Be Nice. Ah those fatal words.)
1. What's not to like about the Kaiser Chiefs?
2. Patty Hearst had this great t-shirt that said 'PARDON ME'.
4. Channel 4 showed the Streetcar episode of The Simpsons tonight (complete with 'defamation' of New Orleans) because they are not especially bright like that. As offensiveness goes it's probably on a par with asking the friend of a large lady when the baby's due out of large lady's earshot, but still.
3. Blogger is planning some kind of a community spam-sweep soon - click on next blog (not here, you can't, there's a thing in the way) until you find a blog that is not about angst or drugs or life but rather curiously filled with linkslinkslinks to thingsthingsthings, and flag the motherfucker. Repeat till eyes fall out. A good idea.
4. No one seems to be able to agree on whether or not bumblebees sting.
5. Perhaps they can't tell a bumblebee from a honeybee to start with, and should not be allowed to go out without supervision.
6. This isn't cheating.
7. Nor is this.
8. This is, though.
9. The Onion is still funny but Private Eye is definitely flagging.
10. Organic fair trade hot chocolate is more expensive but worth it, since it actually tastes of chocolate and sends you wafting gently into peaceful, righteous slumber unblighted by dreams where you wake up several times convinced giant crawly things are crawling on the pillow. And Spar sells it. Which is bizarre given Spar's laughable disregard for anything approaching nice food.
11. The old butcher whose shop is next to the Spar has died of a 'brain bleed or something', according to big ole northern busybody in said Spar.
12. This is sad.
13. But was inevitable.
14. This is a bit like playing the yes-no game.
15. The yes-no game is very hard and pointless. ('The book of love is long and boring/no one can lift the damn thing', etc.)
16. Any pointings-out of glaring and ironic errors already made would be a great thing. In fact, the imposition of new rules might be fun.
17. Science has still not been able to pinpoint precisely why we need sleep.
18. But we do - the effects of not sleeping are, well, death and more death, ultimately.
19. That shit's worse than crack.
20. And ketamine. Which is all over the news this week as the newest most scariest deadly drug, but this is five years old. Ahhh, look at cutey little Conor McNicholas who now oversees publication of that crappy music mag. Il est un goof.
21. 'Ketamine' is a lovely word, isn't it? It's like a girl's name. "Ketamine, darling, would you mind popping to Waitrose for a butternut squash and some Aqua Libra?"
22. David Duchovny's son is called Kyd. Poor fucker.
