Thursday, July 14, 2005
Sing a song of six pants
I answer the back door to P who is standing in the sunlit yard, resplendent in DEFY (or similar sentiment of peaceful protest) THE G8 top (orange skull on black).
P: Hellooooo.
B: Hi P. How are you?
P: I'm fine, yeah. I just wanted to give you this, for feeding Cat (hands over box of Cadbury Snaps) - ooh and from when I borrowed your car (hands over two quids).
B: Ahhh - thanks, you didn't have to. Let me know if you ever need it again.
P: I will. We've just been making broomsticks out of the willow in the garden, so I'm going to sell those to try and raise money to get a market stall. . .how are things with you?
B: Muh. Alright. Not great.
P: Well, I've got a new song that will cheer you up. Would you like to hear it?
B: Er. . .yeah, go on then.
P: It's called 'Cunt'.
B: (smiles)
P: Cuuuunt, cuuunt, minge, vaginaaaaa. . .
B: (grins)
P: (something something, lyrics were lost as I tried to wrap my brain around what I was hearing) laaadyhole. . .it's the holiest hole of all. . .it's where we all come froooom. . .(P dances and claps hands. K, never one to miss a party, jumps up. P holds his paws and dances with him). . .it's where we all come from! Heh heheheheheh!
B: (bewildered, but indeed cheered) Heh heheheheheh! Did you learn that in Edinburgh?
P: Oh yes, it came out of the field, we were all singing it. I was singing it on the bus on the way back and this woman said, "Why are you singing that? It's disgusting!" She was going "I hope you don't think you're going to get the attention of all the men on this bus." I said, "I'm not, I'm just singing a new song, I thought you'd like to hear it." She said "Well, I don't." So I said, tee hee, "Don't you think your cunt is beautiful?" And she said "No!!". And I said "Well mine is!"
B: (thinks: I am really going to miss her.)
P: Hellooooo.
B: Hi P. How are you?
P: I'm fine, yeah. I just wanted to give you this, for feeding Cat (hands over box of Cadbury Snaps) - ooh and from when I borrowed your car (hands over two quids).
B: Ahhh - thanks, you didn't have to. Let me know if you ever need it again.
P: I will. We've just been making broomsticks out of the willow in the garden, so I'm going to sell those to try and raise money to get a market stall. . .how are things with you?
B: Muh. Alright. Not great.
P: Well, I've got a new song that will cheer you up. Would you like to hear it?
B: Er. . .yeah, go on then.
P: It's called 'Cunt'.
B: (smiles)
P: Cuuuunt, cuuunt, minge, vaginaaaaa. . .
B: (grins)
P: (something something, lyrics were lost as I tried to wrap my brain around what I was hearing) laaadyhole. . .it's the holiest hole of all. . .it's where we all come froooom. . .(P dances and claps hands. K, never one to miss a party, jumps up. P holds his paws and dances with him). . .it's where we all come from! Heh heheheheheh!
B: (bewildered, but indeed cheered) Heh heheheheheh! Did you learn that in Edinburgh?
P: Oh yes, it came out of the field, we were all singing it. I was singing it on the bus on the way back and this woman said, "Why are you singing that? It's disgusting!" She was going "I hope you don't think you're going to get the attention of all the men on this bus." I said, "I'm not, I'm just singing a new song, I thought you'd like to hear it." She said "Well, I don't." So I said, tee hee, "Don't you think your cunt is beautiful?" And she said "No!!". And I said "Well mine is!"
B: (thinks: I am really going to miss her.)
